This conference was called in response to a tearful family lunch on March 22, 2004. Conference Co-President Mom (and in reality Dictator-for-Life) opened the family conference by explaining the mystery of why Delegate Valerie was crying during lunch. Delegate Valerie refused to speak to the Conference as a whole. Co-President (Dictator-for-Life) Mom related that the family has been under extraordinary pressures since the family “rhythm” and life style has been so different in India than in was in Chile and South Africa. In those first two countries, we were able to explore the world pretty much on our own to our own schedule. In India, one feels trapped in a “cocoon” of western civilization, unable to venture out on your own without being descended upon by beggars or “tuk-tuk’s” offering rides or pushy people trying to sell you something. One feels trapped in your hotel of western culture since even the hotel staff try to stop you from wandering around on your own, directing you to official tourist stops and away from any semblance of real everyday life in India. Hence, it is difficult for the family to get out and freely explore a different culture as we did before. Other delegates agreed with this interpretation on the source of Delegate Valerie’s bad karma and suggested it might also explain Delegate Sophie’s hissy-fit behavior on the family drive around Bangalore this morning.

Conference Co-President (but in reality having the influence of pond scum) Dad then offered his recommendation for the Conference to consider. Co-President (Pond Scum) Dad proposed that since he didn’t like seeing his little girls cry that perhaps we should consider a slight detour. One month from now at the end of April, the family could have a one week “vacation” from the overall “journey” and return to Seattle after the Japan sojourn, picking-up our original itinerary again in Australia. Co-President (Pond Scum) Dad suggested several reasons for this proposal; it offered a break approximately one-half way through the original schedule, it would allow the children to check with their schools on their progress and share their observations, and Tokyo-Seattle air fares for some reason happened to be dirt cheap right now so it was feasible.

Co-President (Dictator-for-Life) Mom then offered several reasons against the proposal: it would create severe fatigue for the family as a result of a week or more of serious jet-lag, it would be unfair to our pets to see the family for a short time and then leave them again, and it would be too difficult for the family to venture out again to unfamiliar shores after seeing home. Delegate Sophie tried to speak next but was told by Co-President (Pond Scum) Dad that we were going clock-wise around the room and that Delegate Alex was next.

Delegate Alex spoke next by introducing Buster the stuffed cheetah and attempting to speak for him. Buster the cheetah was shouted down by the other delegates. Delegate Alex then asked what was the conference about again. After Co-President (Dictator-for-Life) Mom asked Alex to choose between Option A (stick to the original schedule) or Option B (go home for one week at the end of April), Delegate Alex proposed Option C – go home at the end of April and STAY HOME. Alex also ventured that our remaining destinations could be taken care of by occasional long weekend jaunts. Delegate Alex was ruled out of order whereupon he cast his vote for Option B. Buster the cheetah tried to speak again to the Conference and several items soon went flying in the general direction of Delegate Alex.

Delegate Sophie hopped up and down with her hand raised. After inquiring as to whether she had to use the bathroom, she was reminded again that her turn was after Delegate James. Delegate James voted against Option B, argued that staying with the original schedule would best avoid further chaos, mumbling something about "toughing it out.". Delegate Sophie then shocked the assembled delegates by agreeing that the family should not pursue Option B. She too argued that it would be unfair to the pets and that she would be too jet-lagged to spend time with her friends. Delegate Valerie jumped on the band wagon and voted against Co-President (Pond Scum) Dad’s proposal, adding that she would rather not miss time in Australia and reminding the delegates how much we all hate long plane trips.